Nothing Alike
by HookedOnDestiel
Summary: After 5.22. The apocalypse is over.  Sam is in hell.  Castiel is in Heaven.  Dean is at Lisa's.  And Jimmy...well Jimmy's having dreams he'd rather not have...of a sexual nature...about Dean.  NOT Jimmy/Dean
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: If fantasy ever turns into reality... but let's face it I'll never own it.

SPOILERS: _Takes place sometime after 5.22 Swan Song_

Nothing Alike

~*~ Chapter One ~*~

Late Night Call

Dean rolled over, reaching for his phone. _Who in the hell could be calling?_ Dean's caller id came up with a telephone number that he didn't recognize. He still had all of his phones, and Sammy's, from their previous lives. Dean hadn't taken a hunt since he moved in with Lisa to keep his promise to Sammy, but he still kept the numbers active in case someone needed help. While his promise kept him from being able to hit the road, he wasn't going to let someone get killed because of him. So far he'd had Bobby arrange for nearby hunters to take over 20 cases. Even without the apocalypse things were hopping.

Dean stared at the phone in his hand. No one had called him on this one since Bobby had given up on him, on trying to get him to answer the phone, those referrals… all done by text messaging.

The only other people who had this number were Sammy, who was in hell, and Cas, who was playing sheriff in heaven, and it's not like he was expecting to hear from either of them ever again, at least not within his lifetime.

Burying the spark of hope that valiantly fought for life within him, Dean answered the phone. "What's up?"

"Dean?"

It was Cas' voice… but not, nowhere near as deep. Dean instantly knew he was not speaking to Castiel, which could only mean… "Jimmy?"

"Yeah," Jimmy answered, then continued hesitantly, "look I know it's late but I was hoping that you'd be able to help me out with something. I didn't want Amelia knowing that I was calling."

"Um… yeah sure," Dean managed, mind spinning. What could Jimmy need help with and why would he care if Amelia knew, it wasn't like she didn't know about the whole angels and demons thing. "You know I'm not hunting anymore… right?" Dean added.

"It's ummm…. It's not anything like that… It's… ummm… I guess you could say it's kinda personal…"

"Would it be easier to tell me in person?" Dean asked when Jimmy trailed off for the umpteenth jillion time.

"No!" Jimmy exclaimed nervously before continuing more quietly. "It's just… It's really embarrassing." Dean could hear Jimmy swallowing nervously.

"," Jimmy finally managed barely above a whisper and strung together a one long, drawn out, barely understandable word.

Dean couldn't help it. He laughed. Very, very loudly. "Why-" Dean nearly chocked he was laughing so hard. "Why-" laughing harder than he had since the whole 'den of iniquity' ordeal. "Why in the hell does she think you want me? Dude, we've only ever met just the one time when Cas went to Bible Camp and _that_ was definitely not what you would call a good time! And this is the only time we've talked since."

"It's because of the d- _nightmares_. What Castiel experienced. Most of the time I remember nothing since the second time I gave Castiel permission. He did something different that time and I was shielded from the experiences, but in my dre- _nightmares_ it's almost like he left a part of himself behind, like an echo of his emotions, memories."

"Emotions? Anna said they couldn't feel. I thought Cas just started feeling things towards the end because he was close to falling."

Jimmy was grateful for the sudden veer away from the dreams that he wished would stop and had absolutely no desire to discuss. "I don't know about any angels other than Castiel, but I can tell you from the first time- that for Castiel that couldn't be further from the truth. While his feelings were sometimes vastly different –even alien- from those we experience, they were strong. I actually found them overwhelming. Do you remember when I said that being a vessel was like being strapped to a comet?" Jimmy continued without waiting for an answer. "It wasn't just the fighting that was intense. Castiel apparently knew enough to shield me from the physical pain most of the first time around. The second time it was like he'd buried my consciousness; I was not aware of anything that happened."

"But you're having nightmares about that time?"

Jimmy nodded sheepishly, then realizing Dean couldn't see him, "Yes."

"Freaky." Dean was quiet, processing this information when it occurred to him, "But I still don't get how nightmares led your wife to believe that we're… whatever it is she thinks we are?"

"Um… this is the part that I wish there was a way to avoid talking about. But, uh… I guess it's better to have it come up now than have Amelia spring it on you. Apparently… uh… a few of the times I've had these d- _nightmares_ I've woken up scr- _yelling_ for… your help."

"Sucks."

"You have no idea."

"You'd be surprised. Did you know how me and Cas met?"

"Oh… sorry, forgot about the whole hell thing. You win."

"So what are your nightmares about?"

After an extended silence Jimmy answered, "They seem to be a mixture of Castiel's experiences and imagination."

"Hey, I understand if you don't wanna talk about it. Ben has a game tomorrow but I should be able to make it there by Monday… that work for you?"

"Yes. Thank you Dean. I know this is a lot to ask-"

"Hey. This is _NOT_ a lot to ask. When I think of everything you gave up- Without you letting Cas- Just… thanks man." Dean hoped Jimmy understood that he could never ask for too much, not after everything that Jimmy's sacrifice had allowed Castiel to do. "So do you want me to call when I get into town? Pretend I'm just driving through."

"That'd be great. Thanks."

"Hey Jimmy?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you heard from Cas?"

No Dean… sorry."

"It's ok. It's just hard. Not knowing how he's doing. He didn't exactly make friends when he helped us stop the apocalypse. Who knows how those dicks are treating him."

"I'll let you know if I hear from him Dean."

"Thanks. See you Monday."

"Monday," Jimmy confirmed before hanging up the phone.

Dean stared at the phone in his hand for a minute before placing it on the nightstand. While part of him knew that seeing Jimmy was going to be very… difficult, he couldn't just leave the man hanging. Without Jimmy, Cas would've never been able to help. Dean would've never really have met Cas.

Dean didn't get any more sleep that night, tossing and turning as memories of Castiel flitted through his mind. Monday was gonna suck.


	2. Chapter 2

~*~ Chapter Two ~*~

Early Morning Revelations

Dean got up early and started making a big breakfast. Lisa already did too much to help him. They'd started out by trying to pick up right in the middle of a committed relationship, but it wasn't long before they both realized that they were really little more than friends going through the motions. While Dean may have thought that he'd wanted _this_ at one time, if he was honest with himself, he was bored.

What he and Lisa had, it definitely wasn't what Sam had in mind when he made Dean promise. But Dean meant to honor that promise as best as he could. Having practically raised Sammy singlehandedly, Dean actually could cook. It just wasn't a skill he'd really had the time or inclination to put to use often. By the time Lisa and Ben woke up he'd made pancakes, French toast, eggs, sausage, a couple of types of omelets, and fresh squeezed orange juice… in other words waaaaay too much food for just three people.

Lisa walked into the kitchen ready to get a simple breakfast started, feeling too tired to do much more than microwaved waffles or pouring milk into cereal. When she stepped into the kitchen her jaw dropped at first sight of the food-laden table. _Shit! And I thought he was doing better._ Aloud she faked nonchalance, "Wow. You've been busy."

Dean smiled sheepishly, "I had a lot on my mind. Couldn't sleep."

"Had?" Lisa teased gently.

"Cooking helped." Dean scratched the back of his neck nervously. "I gotta head out for a few days Monday."

Lisa knew Dean missed it, what he did before. He'd never really talked about it but he'd get these far off looks and often, when he seemed to be trying to live completely normally, he seemed somewhat dead inside, as if he was just going through the motions.

She didn't know exactly what kept him there with her and Ben, but she knew that it wasn't because this was what he really wanted. Sure, he treated Ben like his own son and he smiled often, but it was forced, with no real mirth or happiness behind it.

"A hunt?" Lisa asked calmly.

"No. I made a promi-. Not hunting anymore, just… a… _friend_(?) needs help with something personal."

"Anyone you've mentioned before?" Lisa asked casually, fishing for information about why Dean was so worked up.

"Jimmy Novak?"

With the short answers that Dean provided, Lisa wondered exactly what this Jimmy was to Dean. She wanted Dean to open up because she thought it would help him, but if she pushed too hard she knew it would make him clam up even more. "I don't think you've mentioned him before. Do you know him well?"

Dean grimaced slightly, almost looking guilty about something, "No. Not at all really. But I do owe him and he seemed like a fairly decent guy the couple of hours I spent with him while Cas was in Bible Camp."

"Cas?" Lisa was pretty sure Dean had never mentioned a 'Cas,' not that he ever said much about what he'd done before. She knew that Dean's brother, Sam, had _died_. She was suspicious about the circumstances, somehow she thought he had suffered something worse than just death, but basically all Dean had told her was that his brother was gone, for good, the apocalypse was over, and that he was done hunting.

Lisa observed Dean closely. His expression quickly changed from guilt to surprise, sorrow, tenderness, anger, and finally settled on a combination of hurt and self-loathing.

"I've never told you about Castiel," Dean whispered so softly that Lisa could barely hear him.

"Why do you put up with me?" Dean asked her in a slightly louder voice.

"You've been through a hard time, you saved my son, you saved the world, and we're friends… and you're good for Ben," Lisa answered without any hesitation.

Dean bit his bottom lip hard, drawing blood. While Dean avoids saying anything even closely related to feelings as if that would singlehandedly end the world, they always showed on his face, but Lisa was currently having a difficult time putting a name to the emotion on his face. Whatever Dean felt for this 'Cas' was complicated.

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to," Lisa finally said, giving Dean an out.

"No. It's alright. It's about time that I actually told you about what happened… but it's a long story so it's probably better if I start after Ben leaves for school."

Lisa sat at the table as Dean cleaned up. She'd called in to work letting them know that she was going to work from home today.

Dean didn't really know where to start. His life was one long mishmash of fighting and sacrifice and other generally fucked up shit. When he opened his mouth he hadn't intended to start with hell but he found himself saying, "I was in hell."

Dean ignored Lisa's gasp, "I'd made a deal to save Sammy…"

"_What showed up was definitely not what I was expecting. Me and Bobby shot him and I stabbed him and then the real kicker came. He said he was an angel…"_

"_And so I found out that I had started the apocalypse…"_

"_I agreed to do what they wanted and then I found out that me and Sammy were supposed to be Michael and Lucifer's meatsuits…"_

"_He rebelled. And I failed him. Sammy killed Lilith and the apocalypse…"_

"_The angels and the demons were against us. It was just me, Sammy, Bobby, Cas, Ellen, and Jo. Team Free Will."_

"_We got ahold of the Colt and found out where Lucifer was going to be. It didn't work and Jo and Ellen didn't…"_

"_So Sam came up with this really shitty idea. He'd say yes and take control just long enough…"_

"_Apparently the angels decided to give up on me because next thing we know Cas shows up with Adam…"_

"_He molotoved him! Of course then Lucifer broke Bobby's neck and exploded Cas…"_

"_Cas healed me and brought back Bobby but Sam was…"_

Lisa sat in silence. After her run-in with the supernatural, she knew that everything Dean had said was true. As he'd spoken she saw his eyes express a gamut of emotions. She had known that Dean wasn't meant for this type of life.

But still, she was surprised by how easy it had been to read his emotions; how poorly he hid how much he missed it, how much he missed Bobby and Sam and Cas.

She needed to make Dean see that it was okay to want something for himself. To go after what makes him happy. "You know," Lisa paused considering her words carefully. "As much as me and Ben enjoy having you here we have managed to get by without you before and we could easily do it again. Not that we want you to go, but we want you to be happy."

"I'm happy," Dean jumped in defensively.

Lisa shook her head gently. "I know that you're trying to be. But you're not Dean…not really."

Dean lowered his head guiltily, no longer meeting her eyes.

"You'll always be welcome here. But you should be where you really want to be, not where you feel you have to be." Lisa stood up from the table and headed out of the room before Dean could argue, "I'll be working in my office."


	3. Chapter 3

~*~ Chapter Three ~*~

A Casual Meeting Between…_Friends?_

Dean nervously waited while the phone rang. Those few days had gone by much faster than Dean would have expected. It was already Monday and he was calling Jimmy to let him know he was in town.

"Dean?" Dean barely heard Jimmy's timid greeting when he finally answered the phone.

"Yep," Dean confirmed, popping his 'p'. "So how do you want to do this?"

"Amelia went out shopping. She should be back in about an hour. So maybe you could show up around 3?" Jimmy suggested timidly.

"Sure. I'll just stop by a flower shop on my way. What's her second favorite flower?"

"Why?"

Dean could hear confusion dripping from Jimmy's voice. It was amazing how much the differences between Jimmy and Castiel made Dean long for the angel's presence.

"Dean?"

"Sorry," Dean shook himself out of it. "Flowers help women forgive a wide variety of sins…if she's mad at me then I can use all the help I can get. I'm pretty sure she already hates me because of the whole apocalypse thing. She's gotta associate me with you leaving."

"I didn't think of that…" Jimmy trailed off, the unspoken 'maybe this isn't such a good idea after all' ringing in the silence between them.

"Hey," Dean said forcefully, catching Jimmy's attention again. "I don't want you worrying about it," Dean dismissed Jimmy's unspoken concerns, "I spent about 40 years in hell… I'm pretty sure I can handle anything your wife can dish out."

"Okay…but why her second favorite flower?"

"What do you think the odds are that someone guesses a woman's favorite flower?" Dean paused, not really looking for an answer, but giving Jimmy time to think about it. "If I bring her favorite and it's anything other than red roses she'd be suspicious. If I bring her second favorite…pleasantly surprised."

"That makes sense!" Jimmy laughed, clearly surprised that Dean could form a coherent argument.

Dean smiled wryly to himself. He never really minded when people underestimated him. That just meant he was that much less likely to disappoint.

"Let's see," Jimmy thought aloud, "I'd say small pink rosebuds are her favorite, her second favorite flower would probably be a tie between sweet peas or delphinium."

"Great," Dean wanted this to go as smoothly as possible. "See you around 3."

"Thanks again Dean."

"'s no problem." Dean hung up before Jimmy could make the situation more uncomfortable. Sure…give him a big-breasted woman crawling all over him in gratitude, but he didn't want any thanks from Jimmy. Dean owed him.

.

Dean decided to try to show up a little early. Jimmy seemed so high-strung that he was sure it wouldn't go well if he showed up on time. He'd probably start working himself into a frenzy starting the moment Amelia stepped into the house.

He found a flower shop faster than he'd expected. They didn't have any delphinium but they made him up a bouquet of sweet peas and some other flowers whose names he promptly forgot. At the last second he remembered Claire might be home too and had them make up a smaller bouquet for the little girl just in case.

When he got to Jimmy's neighborhood he was fairly early. He drove past Jimmy's address. Making big loops around different streets, Dean kept circling until finally he saw Amelia out front unloading groceries. He pulled in next to her and climbed out, flowers in one hand.

"Hi Mrs. Novak!" he said as cheerily as he could manage. "Here let me help you," reaching out with his free hand he snagged a couple of bags of groceries.

"Dean Winchester," Amelia said his name like a curse, "what are you doing here?"

"I was just passing through and wanted to make sure that you guys were doing alright. I wasn't sure if Cas was still managing to keep an eye on you guys now that he's running heaven."

Amelia would never let it be said that she was not a good hostess, "I was about to make dinner, you're welcome to join us."

"Thank you," Dean followed Amelia into the house, knowing that it was probably solely good manners that led to his invitation.

Before they got to the kitchen, Jimmy came down from upstairs, tripping over the steps and barely catching himself on the banister at the sight of Dean.

"What are you doing here e-" Jimmy bit off 'early' at the last second.

Amelia answered for Dean, "He said he was heading through town and decided to check up on us. Will you go get the rest of the groceries?"

"Ummm," Jimmy was having problems just wrapping his brain around what Amelia had asked him.

Dean noticed Jimmy was struggling to process this unexpected development. "Sure," Dean answered, pretending he thought she'd asked him. "Where would you like me to put these down?"

"On the table is fine, Mr. Winchester."

"Call me Dean," he beamed his most charming smile at her. "And these are for you and your daughter," he said as he laid the flowers next to the groceries.

Amelia brightened up at the sight of the flowers. "Mmmmm," she hummed in satisfaction as she buried her nose into them, breathing in their scent. "Thank you. I love sweet peas."

.

Dean fidgeted under Amelia's watchful stare. He'd thought that he could remain cool and detached during this meeting. After all it wasn't like he and Jimmy had ever even entertained the thought of being intimate with eachother. In fact, most of the time they'd spent together Dean had ashamedly wished for Castiel's presence instead. Not that he had anything against Jimmy, dude seemed nice enough.

He'd offer to help cook, but Amelia had just put in a roast that she had gotten ready that morning; it just needed to be cooked. Jimmy had just gone into the kitchen to answer the phone.

And so now they were sitting across from eachother, but with nothing to say.

"So…" Dean's mind scrambled for something – anything – to say, "I don't really know anything about you guys and I actually feel kinda horrible about it."

Amelia looked surprised by this, "What do you want to know?"

"I don't know." Dean was completely stumped, "What do normal people talk about?"

Before Amelia could even think of an answer to _that_ a question occurred to Dean. "Oh! What did Jimmy do for a living before the whole apocalypse thing? Was he a tax accountant?"

Amelia's eyes widened, "No he worked in radio."

Amelia paused then asked, "Why would you think he was an accountant?"

"I used to tease Cas that he was wearing a holy tax accountant," Dean smirked, then realized what he was saying, "Shit! I'm sorry. I forgot this has been hell for you and Claire…and Jimmy."

"Tell me about him."

"Who? Cas?" Dean continued at Amelia's nod, "Cas is the only angel I've ever met who wasn't a complete dick."

Dean stopped, not quite knowing what he could say without upsetting Amelia.

"Honey," Jimmy leaned down to kiss Amelia, "that was work. They want me to come in for an emergency meeting. Do you want me to tell them I can't?"

"That's ok dear. They were so good about giving your job back it's probably better to keep reminding them how indispensable you are."

"Now then," Amelia turned her attention back to Dean after watching Jimmy leave through the front door, "tell me more about…Cas."

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry the update took so long. I'm not as comfortable writing Jimmy and Amelia. What do you think? Also I promise that Castiel is going to make an appearance soon.<p> 


	4. Chapter 4

~*~ Chapter Four ~*~

Observing Behavior

"I guess, technically speaking, I met Cas in hell."

"What?" Amelia gasped.

"I'm sorry; I thought you knew that bit." Dean ducked his head self-consciously, "I sold my soul to save Sam. By the time Castiel fought his way to me I was torturing and had started the apocalypse. It's my fault that Cas needed a vessel. You have every reason to hate me."

Amelia sat quietly, considering what she'd been told. When she'd first met Dean and Sam she _had_ hated them without a doubt. It had definitely been unfair, but the hatred had been there all the same. Did she still hate them? Not really. She had her family back. As long as it turned out that there was nothing going on between her husband and Dean…

"I don't hate you." Amelia waited, giving Dean a moment to digest that fact.

"So 'Cas' saved you from hell?"

"Yeah, I woke up buried alive. We didn't know what'd pulled me out at the time. Most humans cannot see an angel's true form without burning out their eyes; maybe it has something to do with that because I sure as hell remember the rest of it."

Dean shook off the haunting memories, "Anyway, my next meeting with Cas…he tried to talk to me with his true voice. Scared the shit outta me is more like it. I'd thought I was under attack by something that was invisible."

"Finally me and Bobby decided to summon the thing that drug me out. We setup in a barn covered with every protection we knew with a wide array of weapons. When we did the spell, for a moment I thought it hadn't worked then the lights started flashing and the barn started shaking."

"The doors flew open and Castiel walked in heading straight for us. We were sure he was some evil sonofabitch and started shooting right away, but he just walked calmly towards us, not so much as flinching. Trenchcoat billowing behind him, his presence seemed to fill the room. He effortlessly took out Bobby, dropping him with a single touch. I stabbed him and he just tilted his head curiously. He said, 'I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition.'" Dean chuckled at the memory.

Amelia had quietly listened to Dean while observing him. She caught every lilt in his voice, every light in his eyes, every twitch of his lips.

"You care for him," Amelia stated.

"Well…yeah. I guess you could say he's my best friend." Dean shrugged. "Or at least the closest thing to a best friend that I've ever had. People who get close to me tend to get dead. Cas actually exploded twice already, but he has a habit of coming back," Dean added, clearly forgetting that Cas was in Jimmy's body at the time.

"E-Ex-Exploded?" Amelia's voice trembled.

"Yeah," Dean smiled fondly, still oblivious to Amelia's point of view, "first time Raphael blew him up. He stayed behind to keep the archangels off my back while I went to try to keep Lucifer from rising. He popped up a few months later to save our asses from Zachariah's goons."

Dean's eyes lit in admiration at the memory, "Cas was badass. He took them down in seconds."

"A-and the next time?" Amelia's voice still trembled a bit.

"Cas'd disappeared after taking out a bunch of angels. We'd thought he was dead… again, but he turned up as a human…he didn't handle it very well," Dean smiled wryly. "The main thing you should know about Castiel is that he went against his very nature to do what was right. Angels are not meant to question, to feel, to think for themselves. God designed them to be the perfect soldiers. I never really let Castiel know how much I appreciated everything that he did. As thanks for all that he gave up I just berated him at every turn for not doing more. I don't know why he kept helping me; I can really be a jerk sometimes."

"Anyway, when it came down to the end he molotoved an archangel." Dean laughed, "Cas can't swear worth shit. Called Michael an 'assbutt' before he threw it."

Dean expression sobered, eyes glistening, "Before my eyes Lucifer blew Cas to bits in a fit of rage and snapped Bobby's neck." Dean shook off the pain of the memory, "After Sam managed to take Lucifer with him back into hell, Cas appeared in front of me and completely healed me with a tough and even resurrected Bobby."

"Was he always that powerful," Amelia asked, irate at the thought of Castiel deciding not to heal Jimmy without forcing him to be his vessel again.

"Nope," Dean answered, then paused, "at least I don't think so." Dean rubbed the back of his neck as he considered what he knew of Castiel's powers. "He must've been more powerful when I first met him. It couldn't have been easy to drag me outta hell and put my rotting corpse back together," Dean thought aloud. "But then later he couldn't heal Bobby, course he was cut off from heaven by then."

Dean finally realized that his ramblings were probably confusing Amelia even more than his Castiel centered recounting of events had. "Sorry," Dean apologized, "my short answer is no…but amusingly enough when Cas came back that second time after being blown up in front of me I asked him if he was God."

Amelia smiled gently, still confused. She figured Dean was giving her a reader's digest version of a very long story but at least through Dean's eyes she had a better understanding of the being that took her husband away.

Amelia decided it was time to ask the question she'd been dying to ask while dreading the answer at the same time, "Do you know why James is having these dreams?"

"Oh, the nightmares," Dean shrugged. "Said it was probably related to memories and junk that Cas must've left behind in his consciousness."

"That's what he told you?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I've never been a man but I'm pretty sure that you guys don't usually wake up…satisfied from nightmares."

"Satisfied?" Dean visibly gulped.

"Did you and Cas ever…" Amelia trailed off, leaving the question unasked.

"What? No!"

Amelia thought of herself as being pretty good at reading people and she was pretty sure that Dean felt guilty about something.

"It's…okay if you did," Amelia said softly, "_as long as there's nothing between you and my husband_."

"We didn't," Dean reinforced as calmly as possible.

"But you wanted to," Amelia stated, clearly _not_ asking a question.

"I've never- I'm not- I'm straight," Dean choked out.

"But Castiel isn't really a man, is he?" Amelia continued without waiting for an answer, "haven't you just been telling me how different Castiel is, not only from James but from everyone?"

"I- No- But-" Dean couldn't think of an appropriate response so he went with, "Castiel's a virgin."

"Even virgins can desire someone," Amelia stated.

"I have 2 choices here Dean," Amelia began calmly. "My husband is having wet dreams about you so I can choose to believe that's because he wants you or because Castiel wants you. Guess which one I'm hoping for?"

Dean couldn't believe how quickly he'd lost control of this conversation, "But angels don't-" Dean stopped himself, realizing that it didn't really matter to him and Castiel _what_ Amelia believed but it most definitely _did_ matter to Jimmy which was why he was here in the first place.

"So how's Claire?" Dean asked, hoping that Amelia would let the subject go for now, if not forever.

"She's d-" Amelia stopped suddenly. "James? Did they cancel the meeting?"

Dean swung around, surprised that he hadn't heard him enter.

"That's _not_ Jimmy."

* * *

><p>AN: Feedback please ;-)<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

~*~ Chapter Five ~*~

Sussing Things Out

Dean was torn between calling Castiel a bastard for taking over Jimmy's body again and giving him a manly, totally heterosexual hug.

Amelia wasn't torn. Flinging herself across the room she pounded on Castiel's chest, "Give him back, give him back."

Castiel stood still, allowing Amelia to hit him with no resistance.

Dean just stood there watching Castiel like a hawk afraid of letting its prey out of its sight. When Castiel had left, Dean did what he always did when faced with loss, he lashed out. Part of him had been afraid that Castiel would take him at his word and never come back, even though he'd said that Dean had just been just that Cas had left him for a bunch of assholes who'd done everything in their power to stop Cas from doing the right thing. Those dicks with wings didn't give a rat's ass about Castiel and didn't deserve to be called his brothers. That Cas had left him for those douches stung and so when Castiel had been saying goodbye Dean had told him not to come back.

Castiel didn't know what to do. Amelia was hitting him, of course she was hurting him in the slightest, but he was worried that she could hurt herself. Dean had once told him that hitting him was like hitting a brick wall. Castiel looked over at Dean helplessly. Sure he could stop her but he didn't know if he could manage that without damaging her.

Dean finally shook himself out of his stupor at Castiel's pleading gaze. As gently as possible he extracted Amelia from Castiel. "Amelia it'll be okay. Just give Cas a second to explain."

Amelia buried her face in Dean's chest, "I can't lose him again."

Dean patted her back awkwardly. "What gives Cas?" Dean said while nodding in his direction, "I thought you gave Jimmy his body back for keeps?"

Cas looked down at himself, almost like he'd forgotten he was wearing Jimmy.

"This is not the body of James Novak," Castiel stated calmly.

"Sure as hell looks like it!" Dean shot back.

"That is because this body was fashioned in his image."

"You freaking cloned him?" Dean asked incredulously. "Why didn't you just do that in the first place?!"

"I could not create a vessel before."

"So why now? Did your shiny new wings come with an owner's manual?"

Dean could tell he was beginning to get on Cas' nerves. He couldn't say why he did it exactly, it was like some primal irrepressible urge goaded him to do everything he could to make Castiel show emotion.

"If you must know, Gabriel fashioned it for me," Castiel stated stiffly.

Dean could swear that the air was filled with electric power coming off Cas in waves; Dean's blood hummed with it.

_Wait. Gabriel?!_

"Gabriel? As in your brother the archangel? That Lucifer killed?"

"Yes. Apparently God saw fit to return and bring back the angels that did not actively try to bring about the apocalypse."

"So where was your deadbeat dad while we went through all this shit?"

Castiel glared at Dean's irreverence, "I do not know. He did not appear to me."

"After all that shit we went through he didn't even have the decency to thank you?"

"Figures," Dean grumbled when Castiel remained silent.

Dean finally noticed that Amelia had fallen silent. Somehow she'd gotten across the room without him noticing. She appeared to be frantically praying.

"Don't worry. God won't do shit…much as I'd like him to so I can give him a piece of my mind."

Dean noticed that Amelia's hands appeared to be bruised and swollen. "Cas," Dean nodded his head in Amelia's direction.

Castiel appeared directly in front of her. Ignoring Dean's 'lazy bastard' remark he gently touched her hands, healing them instantly.

"That really isn't James?" Amelia asked quietly, scared she might have heard wrong.

"That is correct. James Novak is still at work."

"Not that I'm not glad to see you and all Cas, but what're you doing here?"

"Jimmy prayed asking for my help and since you told me not to 'pop in in front of civilians' I thought it would be better to wait here." Castiel's voice dropped, "I know you said that you did not want to see me again if I left. I could wait elsewhere if you wish."

Dean sprang across the room to latch onto Castiel's wrist, "Don't," Dean choked out. _I want you to stay. I'm sorry. I'm a jerk. I missed you. _All this went unsaid but as Castiel met Dean's eyes everything that went unsaid was silently communicated and everything else faded away.

That is until Amelia cleared her throat, "So did James say why he needed your help?"

Not breaking eye contact with Dean, Castiel answered, "He did not specify other than to say it is important."

"He's having se-" Amelia noticed Dean's horrified look and paused, "sorry…having _nightmares_ as a result of being your vessel."

"Is it possible, Cas?" Dean asked dubiously, "could Jimmy be having…_nightmares_ from memories or feelings leftover from when he was your vessel?"

"There is no precedence. However, there is also little precedence for vessels returning to their former lives."

"What do you mean?" Amelia interjected, clearly confused.

"Angels do not take vessels often. When the need arises there are many circumstances that are detrimental to the vessel. If an angel dies, the vessel dies. More powerful angels like Rafael leave their vessels…in a less than satisfactory state. Most other vessels are needed for so long that by the time they have fulfilled their purpose their families have passed."

Amelia visibly shook, realizing just how lucky she was to have her husband back. She surprised both of them when she hugged Castiel, "Thank you for giving him back to me."

Dean laughed at Castiel's surprisingly visible discomfort.

"Hey, I'm back. They cancelled the mee-"

All eyes swung to the front door where Jimmy was standing, jaw-dropped in shock.

"Wha- How…Castiel?"

"Yeah, it's him," Dean answered.

"You look like me," Jimmy stated in shock. His eyes sought out Amelia's, "He does look like me…right?"

"I do apologize for not asking your permission first," Castiel spoke before Amelia could answer. "I had this vessel fashioned in your image."

"You had me cloned!?"

"If you would prefer, I could have Gabriel make another vessel that does not resemble you. I have just become accustomed to this form and I was concerned that Dean might not accept me in another form."

"That's ridiculous Cas," Dean smiled warmly. "I know that you look nothing like your vessel, besides I'm pretty sure that I'd recognize you anywhere. I knew who you were the instant I saw you. You and Jimmy are nothing alike."

Castiel smiled back at Dean. While Dean hadn't said the words, Castiel knew that he had forgiven him for leaving. They stood still, quietly staring into the others' eyes.

Jimmy laughed nervously, "I guess that I really don't mind since this means you'll never need me or my daughter again."

"James," Amelia's voice dripped with annoyance.

"What'd I do?" Jimmy knew he was in the doghouse for something but he had no clue what.

"Never mind," Amelia sighed. "Let's go meet Claire at the bus."

Amelia grabbed onto Jimmy's arm and headed for the door, "Dean, will you take the roast out when the buzzer goes off?"

"Sure."

"Thanks. We'll be back in a few minutes. Why don't you and 'Cas' catch up." Amelia practically drug Jimmy out the door behind her, leaving Dean and Castiel alone.

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><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait. Hope you like it ;-) Please review.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

~*~ Chapter Six ~*~

Dean and Castiel stood facing each other for quite some time. Their regrets seemed like a mile-wide chasm stretching endlessly before them even though they'd drifted to the point where only a few feet separated them.

Even though Dean had indicated that he should stay, Castiel expected to be rejected any moment. Dean couldn't really forgive him for leaving when he'd expressly told him not to. He knew that he had hurt Dean and while he could easily repair broken bones now and a variety of other ailments now he did not know how to go about repairing this type of damage.

Dean knew he should have never told Castiel not to come back. He wanted to fix things between them, but at the same time he was afraid that Castiel would disappear on him again any moment.

And so they stood at a silent impasse, both afraid to make the first move.

_I've gotta say something. Any moment Jimmy will be back and Castiel will do his angel thing and then be on his way._ "So…uh…do you uh…do you have to go back right after helping Jimmy?" Dean asked, eyes examining the floor like it was the most fascinating thing in all of creation.

"I do not believe so," Castiel answered thoughtfully. "I have not yet received a new assignment."

"What?! Then why the hell didn't you come back?" At Castiel's sharp glance, Dean blushed, "Oh right…sorry."

An awkward silence fell over them again, but Dean quickly rallied, "_Will_ you stay?"

Before Castiel could answer Dean added, "If you can? I ... I miss you Cas."

With just a hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth Castiel answered, "If I can."

Dean didn't know how it had happened. One moment he was standing a few feet away from Castiel, the next he was hugging him like there was no tomorrow.

Castiel stood stone still for a moment.

Dean imagined Castiel with the same horrified expression on his face as when Amelia had hugged him. He kept telling his arms to let Castiel go but apparently they had a mind of their own because they just hung on tighter, unwilling to let Castiel go.

You could say that Dean was surprised when Castiel suddenly hugged back so tightly that Dean nearly fell to the floor in shock…that is he would have if Castiel hadn't been holding him so tightly.

Dean wasn't really what you would call a hugger. The hugs he gave were few and far between, and never any that lasted more than a moment or two. The fact that this hug seemed to go on forever…Dean really didn't want to think about what that meant. He couldn't believe that he'd even admitted to missing Castiel. All this time he'd been pretending, lying to himself that he didn't miss anything of his life before.

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit! Jimmy and Amelia will be back with Claire any second and I can't make myself let go. This is going to bring a whole new level of awkward._

"Cas?"

"Yes, Dean?"

"Maybe we should…you know…let go before they get back?"

"What do you mean?"

"Guys don't really hug."

"I do not understand."

"I just don't want to give them the wrong idea…especially with the whole dream thing."

"'Dream…thing?'"

"Jimmy's dreams."

"I thought James Novak was having nightmares and that was why he prayed for help?"

"Not exactly," Dean stepped back, breaking their embrace. He wasn't about to talk about _those_ dreams while hugging another dude. He really didn't want to talk about _those_ dreams at all.

"I do not understand. If they are not nightmares, why would he want to stop them so urgently that he would request help from both of us?"

Dean was saved, at least temporarily, from having to answer by the Novaks returning.

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><p>AN: Sorry for the short length and the long wait. The good news is I'm almost done with the next chapter. Please review ;-)<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

~*~ Chapter Seven ~*~

Amelia smiled across the table at Dean and Castiel. They had drifted together naturally when they'd gone to sit down to dinner. Amelia had insisted that they both eat with them. She'd watched closely as Dean had wordlessly convinced Castiel to stay; and let's face it – Dean never said no to good food.

She wondered why Dean had never asked Castiel to stay before. He had obviously been upset about Castiel leaving and she knew from what Dean'd said that Castiel had told him he was leaving. Had Dean not known that Castiel would have stayed?

It was weird; watching this man who was not her husband, wearing a body that was physically identical to his and yet, somehow, completely different. Watching him now, she was surprised she hadn't seen it as quickly as Dean had.

She ate distractedly as she observed Dean encouraging Castiel to try the roast. There was a brief, mostly silent argument where Castiel didn't want to eat beef – something about famine, and never again – but when Dean held a bite up to Castiel's mouth he caved in and obligingly opened his mouth.

She watched as Dean's face lit up with pleasure and self-satisfaction as Castiel took the fork from him and awkwardly began to eat more.

Amelia tried to follow the conversation James was having with Claire, but she found it next to impossible to draw her attention away from the two across from her.

Dean ate with a gusto she hadn't seen since Jimmy's first meal since coming back. Castiel ate tentatively at first, but within minutes he seemed to be enjoying the meal almost as much as Dean…and yet, even though both were apparently really enjoying her cooking, both kept glancing at the other surreptitiously.

When the conversation lagged (she guessed her husband and daughter had finished recounting highlights of their days), Amelia asked, "So 'Cas,'" she began by tentatively trying out the new nickname, "what made you choose this form? Not that I mind," she added quickly, "I'm just curious. Couldn't you have chosen to have any type of body fashioned for you."

Amelia didn't miss Dean's look of surprise at the question. She guessed that he just probably hadn't considered the possibility of Castiel looking like someone else even with the brief period of time her daughter had lent him her body…_thank heaven I never have to worry about that ever again._

"That is correct," Castiel looked thoughtful for a moment before continuing, "in fact Gabriel suggested an altogether different form, but I have grown accustomed to this body and despite what Gabriel said, I thought Dean might be uncomfortable seeing me in another form."

"What did he suggest?" Amelia asked with genuine interest.

"He thought that I should take the form of a well-endowed woman of Asian descent. He said Dean would appreciate it."

At this, Dean choked on the food he'd been chewing. He was gasping for breath so violently that Amelia was about to rush around the table to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him when Castiel reached out to gently place his hand on Dean's arm, instantly allowing Dean to breathe.

"Was he correct?" Castiel asked worriedly. "I had thought that perhaps I should consult you before making a decision; however I was hesitant because we parted on less than amiable terms."

Dean faked coughing into his hand to buy some time. He would love to kill Gabriel right now…maybe Cas would lend him his sword.

Deciding to completely ignore Gabriel's suggestion, Dean cleared his throat one final time and said, "If you'd asked me I would have told you to choose whatever form you'd prefer. I told you I'd know you anywhere Cas."

Amelia held back a squeal of delight. She knew it! There was something there. Dean had been all awkward and embarrassed but clearly was trying to be all sweet and caring. Castiel seemed honestly worried that he should have chosen a different body to make Dean happy. It was _so_ romantic. She had to find a way to help them figure out exactly how much they mean to eachother. She figured Castiel would be fairly easy to convince; after all, he was the reason her husband was having wet dreams about Dean. Dean, however, she expected to prove to be much more challenging. She barely knew him and yet she knew that he was self-sacrificing to a fault and believed that he felt he didn't deserve love from others.

Amelia thought all this as she watched; and schemed as she further observed them through the rest of the meal.

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><p>AN: I know the chapter's short but since it seemed to pause nicely here and I thought everyone might appreciate the faster update. Feedback would be awesome ;-)<p> 


	8. Chapter 8

~*~ Chapter Eight ~*~

Dean attempted to hide his disappointment once he realized there was no dessert coming. He jumped up and grabbed his and Castiel's plates, rinsing them off before placing them in the dishwasher, then going back to the table to pick up more. As Dean picked up Claire and Amelia's empty plates, Castiel vanished without a word. Dean just shrugged and went back to clearing the table; he was, after all, used to this.

"Where'd he go?" Amelia asked worriedly, seeing all of her schemes blowing away in the slight breeze Castiel left in his wake.

"Don't know," Dean said simply as he shrugged carelessly again.

"Aren't you worried?" she asked, wondering if maybe she was reading Dean's feelings all wrong; she shouldn't encourage Castiel if there was a chance Dean didn't feel the same way.

"Nah," Dean smiled as he continued to clear the table, "when he leaves like that it means he plans to come right back."

"But why didn't he say anything before he left?" Claire asked. "Didn't his mom teach him to say goodbye?"

"Far as I know, angels don't have moms," Dean answered simply, "'sides Cas just doesn't seem to get some human things, like being polite or standing too close…you get used to it.

Castiel chose that moment to reappear, startling everyone, including Dean, "Jesu- Cas! Thought I told you not to pop in quite so close."

"My apologies," Castiel said as he took a very small step away from Dean.

Amelia smiled widely. With every passing interaction she felt even more sure of her course of action.

"I brought pie," Castiel said as he handed Dean a steaming hot apple pie.

"Awesome," Dean's eyes shone with what Amelia was convinced was love for both pie and Castiel.

"I'm sorry you had to go get dessert Castiel," Amelia felt the need to apologize for her failure as a hostess, "When James first came back he ate almost everything in sight. He gained so much weight that we stopped eating dessert until he dropped it. I'm afraid I just haven't gotten into the habit of making it again."

Castiel didn't really know what to say, but he felt she wanted a response. "I do not require any food but Dean is always disappointed when he doesn't get pie."

Dean didn't look embarrassed; in fact he looked pleased that Castiel admitted to getting pie for him.

Amelia got up and grabbed clean plates, forks, and a knife and laid them on the table so Dean could serve the pie.

Before trying the pie she watched Dean carefully. Watched as his eyes grew large and he whipped his head around to face Castiel, "Arlene's Diner's?!"

"Yes Dean."

"But they're out of business! I wasted a day driving out there just last month. Did they open back up again?" he asked excitedly.

"No Dean. They are still closed."

"But then ho- You- Just for pie! Are you alright?" Dean asked worriedly; then angrily, "What the hell were you thinking? That last time you barely made it!"

"Am I missing something?" Amelia asked, hoping her interruption would stop Dean from doing something stupid, like driving Castiel away.

Dean huffed in annoyance, glaring at Castiel.

"Time travel is normally simple for angels. He is upset because of the occasion that I time-travelled when I was cut off from heaven and had to take him and Sam back in time as well…the end result was less than pleasant."

"Less than pleasant," Dean repeated angrily. "You freaking passed out! You drank an entire liquor store and didn't pass out. For a while I thought it might kill you."

"So you went back in time to get Dean's favorite pie?"

"That is correct."

Castiel's matter-of-fact statement increased Dean's worry, and it showed on his face as his anger increased. What if Castiel made a habit of trying crazy things for no real reason?

"That was really sweet Castiel," Amelia said as she kicked Dean under the table.

Dean saw Jimmy wince in sympathy as Dean rubbed his aching shin. "Thank you Cas," Dean said quietly. "I overreacted."

Castiel smiled slightly at the apology.

"Just please don't do it again if there's any chance it'll hurt you or keep you from coming back."

"I promise Dean," Castiel answered as his smile grew.

Amelia hid her own smile, pleased with herself. As she ate the pie, which was actually really amazing, she wondered if maybe she could convince Castiel to try to find the recipe the next time he went back.

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><p>AN: Sorry it's short. The good news is when chapters are short I tend get them typed up and posted much quicker. Hope everyone's still enjoying the story so far.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

~*~ Chapter Nine ~*~

Jimmy knew Amelia was scheming – he just knew it. What he didn't know was _what_ she was scheming.

The entire meal had been eerie. Jimmy had tried to keep up a normal dinner conversation with his daughter despite how awkward things felt. It would have been weird enough having dinner with Dean and his family what with his dreams and all. He didn't harbor any hard feelings towards Dean or Castiel, neither for the dreams nor his stint as Castiel's vessel. While his life would never be the same again, he knew that if he had said no to Castiel that there was a good chance that the world would've ended.

It was a weird experience though; watching his body interact with others. He wondered briefly if twins separated at birth and reunited in adulthood would have a similar, disconnected, surreal, out-of-body type of experience. Despite all the cells that he knew were identical, Castiel's copy of him seemed completely foreign, nonhuman, unfamiliar in every way.

He hadn't lied when he' told Dean and Sam that being taken over by an angel was like being chained to a comet, but when Castiel had taken him the second time it had been different…muted to the point that he had barely been aware. Maybe it was because he'd been so close to death; maybe because Castiel did something different; maybe he'd never know why it was so different the second time.

When Castiel had been destroyed, Jimmy had not been resurrected with his body. Castiel had visited him in heaven when he'd been restored and promised to watch over his family. The only other thing he'd asked was to have Castiel keep the fact that he'd died from Amelia.

When Castiel had been restored the second time, as a much more powerful angel, he had again visited Jimmy in heaven; this time with an offer to restore him like his superiors had done for Dean and Sam countless times.

Jimmy had been ready to jump at the offer even though part of him thought that eventually Castiel would be back for his body again. Obviously he was feeling relief that Castiel would apparently never need his, or Claire's, body ever again. That alone would have been enough to keep him distracted throughout dinner, but when Amelia had suggested the possibility of Castiel choosing a different body…that had really thrown him for a loop. Why, if Castiel could have chosen any form he wanted, any _body_ in the entire world, why would he choose Jimmy's?

Jimmy was so distracted that he completely missed the implication that Dean might've liked Castiel better as a woman. In fact he missed pretty much everything until something in Amelia's voice snapped him out of his thoughts in time to catch her kicking Dean under the table.

_Ouch! _Jimmy winced in sympathy. _I've been on the receiving end of that a couple of times. _Jimmy watched as Dean apologized to Castiel; he was pretty sure it was because Dean didn't want to be kicked again.

Jimmy saw Amelia hiding a smile. Apparently whatever she was scheming was going in a way she was happy with. Whatever it was seemed to have something to do with Dean and Castiel.

Surprisingly Dean and Castiel seemed to be getting along relatively well since things seemed rife with tension earlier when Amelia had practically dragged them out the door to pick up Claire.

_Wow. _Jimmy smiled to himself as he slid another bite into his mouth. _This pie's good. Wonder if Amelia will manage to get her hands on the recipe._

Claire had gone upstairs a few minutes ago, supposedly to do homework but more likely than not to talk to her friends on the phone. Amelia had herded the rest of them into the living room.

Jimmy had decided to stop thinking about why Castiel would choose to copy his body; whether he'd personally choose a different body if he could. Instead he studied Castiel and Dean.

Dean hadn't seemed all that fond of Castiel when Jimmy first met him – apparently a lot had changed since then.

For one thing, there were plenty of places to sit in the living room and Jimmy was immensely surprised when Castiel had sat down right next to Dean…not just on the same sofa, but so close that he couldn't see any space between them. Jimmy fully expected Dean to tell Castiel to give him some breathing room or scooch away, but Dean looked almost…content.

"So, do you guys have any ideas about stopping Jimmy's se-nightmares?" Amelia's slip caught Jimmy's attention. _Does she know? Shit. Of course she knows. Part of me always suspected that she knew – if she knows do Castiel and Dean know?_

"Figured we'd head to Bobby's to do some research, unless you've got something," Dean turned towards Castiel. They were so close to eachother that there was a mere inch or two between their lips.

Jimmy didn't get it. He had never been that close to anyone but Amelia. Dean seemed like a typical heterosexual male, why wasn't he uncomfortable?

"I have been considering possibilities; however I must admit that I do not know what is causing the dreams either."

Jimmy was surprised to see that Castiel looked a little frustrated at his inability to immediately figure this out.

Castiel continued, "I'm fairly certain that I would be able to tell if it was the result of a spell or demonic interference so I believe that we can safely eliminate that as a possibility."

"Great…so Bobby's it is then. You gonna ride with me?" Dean asked half hopefully, half resigned to a 'no.'

Castiel was about to say he'd meet him there, Jimmy could practically see it coming, when Amelia jumped in, "Why don't you stay tonight and get going after a good breakfast?"

Jimmy was surprised. He'd thought Amelia would want to get them out of the house as soon as possible. She was definitely up to something.

Dean of course agreed readily as soon as Amelia assured him that he wouldn't be a burden.

"James," Jimmy met his wife's eyes to indicate that he was listening, "would you show Dean to the guest room? I want to speak with Castiel for a moment."

Jimmy nodded before getting up to lead Dean away, fighting the urge to stay just past the doorway and eavesdrop. After all, Amelia was usually more than happy to share her schemes with him.

"What's up with her?" Dean asked when he was pretty sure they were out of Amelia's earshot.

"Not sure," Jimmy answered. "She's up to something but she hasn't told me what yet."

Jimmy opened the door to the guestroom, "There's a bathroom directly across the hall."

"Hey Jimmy," Dean caught his arm just as he was about to leave the room, "talk to Amelia, she understands better than you'd think."

Jimmy felt his face flush bright red as he realized what Dean meant, "Could we…uh…just pretend neither of us knows what you're talking about?"

"Of course," Dean said simply and stepped back giving Jimmy some space. "Me and Cas will figure out what's wrong and stop it. I promise."

"Thanks."

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><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait. Hope everyone likes the chapter. For some reason it gave me some trouble.<p> 


	10. Chapter 10

~*~ Chapter Ten ~*~

Amelia watched as Castiel ripped his eyes away from Dean and looked at her curiously as Dean and her husband left. They stayed that way for about a minute, just long enough to make sure Dean wouldn't be able to hear.

"So you and Dean seem close," Amelia began, suspecting that Castiel would most likely not infer more from her statement than friendship.

"We do share a profound bond; however I fear that he is still upset that I left after we stopped the apocalypse."

Amelia smiled widely, wondering what Castiel meant by 'profound bond,' but deciding to move past that for now, "I think it's more that he thinks you'll leave again."

"I have no desire to leave; however it is possible I may be ordered to return to heaven at some point."

Amelia decided to change the subject, "Have Dean or James told you anything about the nature of my husband's 'nightmares'?"

"No. Do you feel that this information could be relevant to the investigation?" Castiel looked thoughtful and before Amelia could come up with an appropriate answer, he added, "If there is a common theme to the nightmares it could possibly point towards a potential cause."

"That's what I thought," Amelia suppressed a cunning grin, this was totally going her way. "I'm afraid that with the somewhat embarrassing nature of the nightmares, Dean will likely avoid considering their 'common theme' when investigating." Amelia could tell she had piqued Castiel's curiosity, "I want you to promise me that you will make sure that Dean does not ignore the possible significance the 'common theme' could have."

"Of course," Castiel stated, slightly offended at the implication that he would intentionally ignore what could possibly be a vital clue in helping James Novak. "However," he added a bit peevishly, "I cannot guarantee to consider that which I do not know."

"Sorry Castiel, it's not that I'm trying to keep it from you, I'm just not sure how to tell you. Dean didn't take it very well," Amelia repressed a smile at the memory of Dean's reaction.

"Perhaps it would be best to just simply inform me. I am not human. Whatever upset Dean is unlikely to affect me in a similar manner."

Amelia nodded, "James has been dreaming about having sex with Dean."

"And you believe this is a side-effect of being a vessel?" Castiel's voice was confused but calm…_good._

"You know my husband better than anyone; do you believe his is sexually attracted to Dean?"

Castiel apparently didn't even feel the need to think about the question, "No."

"Are _you_ sexually attracted to Dean?" Amelia asked quietly.

Castiel didn't answer immediately; Amelia chose to take this as a good sign.

"Angels do not have sexual desires," Castiel's statement lacked the assurance of his earlier resounding 'no.'

Amelia smiled gently, "'That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.'"

Castiel's pensive look nearly made Amelia laugh aloud in delight.

"Genesis 6:2. I was not stationed on Earth during the time that passage refers to, but I was told we could not feel desire. That Lucifer corrupted those angels."

"How many things have you done that you were told you couldn't?" Amelia asked. "I know angels don't normally eat, or come back from the dead, or rebel from heaven to stop the apocalypse."

Amelia allowed an awkward silence to fall between them, giving Castiel time to think. It was a couple of long, silent minutes before she spoke again, "I believe that you should not take anything you've been told about angels for granted."

Castiel nodded slowly; Amelia internally pumped her fist into the air in victory.

"Perhaps you should ride with Dean to his friend's house. It would give you some time alone with him."

"I have spent much time with Dean before," Castiel responded, not seeing how more of the same would produce different results.

"Then why don't you try something different this trip?" Amelia couldn't believe how well this was going. Before he could ask she suggested, "Why don't you ask Dean if you can kiss him?" At Castiel's doubtful expression she added, "If you kiss and you don't feel anything then you'll know."

"That is logical; however I am uncertain Dean will be willing to participate. Even though I am neither male nor female, my vessel is male," Castiel looked doubtfully down at his body. "Do you think that is why Gabriel suggested a different body?"

Amelia imagined her pastor's look of horror if he found out about her attempts to hook up an angel of the Lord in a male body with a man. It was amazing how much the last few years of her life had changed her, "I do not believe that it will really matter to Dean once he gets used to the idea," she soothed. "It actually might have been more difficult for Dean to accept you as a female."

"What you do is ultimately up to you but I think that you should explore your feelings for Dean further."

* * *

><p>AN: This chapter was a lot easier to write than the last one. Hope everyone's still liking the story. Please review...it's like crack...seriously ;-)<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

~*~ Chapter Eleven ~*~

Dean woke up in a strange bed, admittedly not all that unusual; even after the last few months at Lisa's it still felt somewhat normal to wake up in an unfamiliar bed. Dean's squeezed his eyes shut tightly, fighting the urge to glance around the room. There was still a moment, every morning, when his mind took a second or two to catch up with the fact that he was not going to see Sam in a bed next to his.

The moment passed and Dean still just laid there, listening to the stillness of the house. He had woken up with morning wood – again not all that unusual, but for once he was in a position to do something about it. Dean tossed the covers down towards his feet and palmed his dick through his boxers. Lightly he teased himself, reveling in the sensation of cotton rubbing lightly against his sensitive skin. Biting back a gasp he slowly slid his hand up, along his length, pausing momentarily to caress the head before slipping his hand beneath the waistband.

Unbidden, curious blue eyes flashed through his mind. Not even allowing the face surrounding those eyes to take shape, Dean stubbornly pushed the image away and focused on boobs. Boobs were good. Cas didn't have b- _Shit_. Why the fuck was he thinking of Castiel with his hand on his dick? _Freaking Amelia putting freaking ideas in my head._

Dean bit his lip and violently cleared his head of any thought, focusing solely on the feelings of pleasure as his hand moved along his length.

What felt like an eternity later, but was in reality just a few minutes, Dean's hand still whipped up and down along his cock. He seemed to be stuck; at the edge, but unable to cross over. He pulled out every trick in the book…a twist here, a rough rub there, running his thumbnail across the slit…everything left him on the verge of coming, still desperate for that little extra.

Dean tossed an irritable glare down at the aching bulge in his boxers…and that's when he saw him. Castiel. Sitting at the end of the bed. Eyes blown wide. Mouth slightly open. Face flushed. Chest heaving. "D-d-dean," he stuttered, that one syllable a mixture of shame, arousal, and uncertainty.

Dean came.

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><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait. I know this chapter is extremely short and I considered just combining with the next one but it screamed at me that it wanted to be all by itself.<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

~*~ Chapter Twelve ~*~

Dean pulled his dirty jeans up over his now soiled boxers, swearing under his breath. When Dean had come down from his orgasm he immediately noticed that Castiel had apparently disappeared on him – not that he was really all that surprised.

Careful not to wake anyone, Dean silently walked outside to grab his bag from the trunk. He fought the urge to pray to Castiel, knowing that the conversation would go much better without the sticky mess in his clothes providing a constant reminder of just exactly what Castiel had seen…and how Castiel had looked watching. Sure, Castiel could have popped in just at the end there, but Dean was pretty sure he must've been there the entire time – or – Castiel popped in and was just so overcome that he had to sit down…either way a more awkward conversation than just 'sorry you had to see that.'

Dean took a long time to finish showering (it was hard to get everything clean when you felt guilty with every swipe of the washcloth and trying to clean up partially dried jizz while at the same time trying to avoid your traitorous dick like the plague). He took so long that by the time he got out of the shower, Amelia had already started making breakfast and Clair was sitting, all ready for the day, at the kitchen table. No way was Dean going to have _the conversation_ in front of them.

"Good morning," Amelia greeted him cheerily. "How did you sleep?"

Dean bit back the snarky comment that would be natural with his foul mood, "Great. You?"

"I slept better than I have since James first agreed to be a vessel. Part of me always worried that Castiel would need him or Claire again and now that that particular fear is gone I feel like I can finally relax back into our lives."

"That makes sense," Dean nodded in understanding.

"By the way, where is Castiel?" Claire asked from the table.

Dean squirmed where he stood. "He…uh…he took off. He'll probably just meet me at Bobby's."

Amelia refused to accept that. Castiel had been ready to ride with Dean. "Are you sure? Last night he said he was going to ride with you."

Dean swallowed nervously, "He might…uh…he didn't really say anything before vanishing." _Nothing except the breathy way he said my name just before I came._

Amelia watched Dean closely. Something happened. "Why don't you ask him to join us for breakfast?"

_That_ was the last thing Dean wanted. What if Castiel went and said something about _the incident_ in front of them? But explaining that to Amelia was not something he thought he could do. For whatever reason she seemed to be on the Castiel bandwagon and he didn't want to cross her. His shin twinged at the memory of her well-placed kick.

Dean closed his eyes awkwardly for a moment, about to pray, but it felt too personal for some reason. Grabbing the cell out of his back pocket he called Cas' number, hoping Castiel still had it and hoping that it still had a few minutes on it.

A moment later Dean found himself stumbling backwards as Castiel appeared inches from his face holding a silent cellphone. "It doesn't work anymore. The voice told me I'm out of minutes."

"We'll get you some mo- Wait. How did you know I called?"

Castiel averted his eyes causing a number of perverted things to run through Dean's mind…the starring thought: _Did Castiel pleasure himself while watching me shower?_

Dean jumped when Amelia walked past him to place a platter of pancakes on the table. "James should be down in a minute but you can go ahead and start eating."

"Thank you. It looks great." Dean sat at the table in the same chair he had last night, unsurprised when Castiel sat down too.

The four had barely started eating when Jimmy came down to join them for breakfast.

"We are going to church after breakfast. Would you like to join us?"

Dean's derisive snort was cut short as Castiel squeezed his knee briefly before moving his hand away. _Was that meant as a warning or…_

"Actually I was planning on getting on the way right after breakfast," Dean answered diplomatically. "Cas-"

"Castiel mentioned that time could be a factor in their ability to help you," Amelia interrupted, not feeling even the slightest bit of guilt lying her ass off on a Sunday. When your husband leaves you for years and gets blown up for God you should get to break the rules every once in a while, at least she thought so. "He was going to ride with Dean so they can brainstorm ideas for their friend to start researching while they're on the way."

Dean watched Castiel's expression. Even though he remained silent, Dean could tell by Castiel's eyes and minute body language that Amelia was lying about something.

"I understand. I really do appreciate any help you guys can provide."

Dean shrugged nonchalantly, they'd already discussed this and with the exclusion of the horizontal kind of thanks, Dean preferred not to receive more than cursory thanks.

The rest of the meal was eaten in silence. Dean had assumed everyone was lost in their own thoughts. But just as they were about to leave he saw Amelia take Castiel's phone momentarily before giving it back.

"If you figure out what she's up to would you let me know?" Dean asked Jimmy quietly.

"Sorry Dean, but I already promised her I wouldn't, and with how understanding she's being with my…problem I owe it to her," Jimmy smiled conciliatorily. "If it makes you feel any better, she definitely has your best interests in mind."

"Whipped."

Jimmy just smiled, taking the insult for what it was – friendly banter. He was still smiling halfway through the fire and brimstone sermon, wondering if Amelia could possibly be right.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry for the long wait. I know this chapter makes it clear that Amelia confessed to Jimmy what she was doing but should I leave it at that or include bits of their conversation in a later chapter?<p> 


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